30th
Death Cab For Cutie - Transatlanticism
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I know I promised you something Seattle yesterday. But this is my blog, and I can do what I want with it. Especially today.
Even though this song is eight minutes long, I don’t think I’m going to be writing too much. My mind’s going so fast, it can’t keep up with itself.
I lost someone incredibly important to me today. And… I don’t know what to think. For the same reason, death can be either liberating or absolutely, world-ending-ly tragic. Sometimes, probably often (though I luckily don’t have much experience in this domain), both.
I find it ridiculous to be this upset simply because you miss someone. And, while I know that’s not what I’m feeling, those are the words most readily coming to mind. I know I don’t “miss” my grandfather right now. At least, not in the sense that I miss my friends and family back home.
His not-so-sudden departure has created a void in my life, one that will probably be slowly refilled, though never completely. I think he knew it, and he definitely knows it now, but in case he didn’t/doesn’t, he was a huge role model of mine.
I remember, when I was 16 years old, I was dating this girl whose name started with A. A’s dad apparently knew my grandfather when they were both younger. He told me that he could often find my grandfather, Norm, at the bar, with a glass of scotch/whisky in one hand, a cigar in the other, and always with a beautiful woman.
Guess what I did for my eighteenth birthday. Guess what I’m doing now, in his memory.
I miss you, papa. Though that’s not exactly it.
